Dont say we didnt warn you
by PaperThinWalls
Summary: Shadowcat's no longer the childish, naive little sixteen year old she was when she first joined the X men. This is a story about change, realization, and how much impact one teacher can make on a student. Remmy x Kitty x Logan triangle. Ratting may go up.
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer:_ Okay, after a few bran cells exploding, and some high stress levels reached; I'm finally back and kickn' with yet another bizarre story of mine. I've been wanting to write a romance between Logan and Kitty for awhile now- and voila. This focus on Kitty from age 16 to 25 all from her brake up with Lance to her growing friendship with Logan. So… how to explain this story...um...ah... :nervous laughter: This is completely unlike anything I've ever written before. I really wanted to get deep into Kitty's character here and try to write like she would if in this sort-of position. I do realize its a little OOC but try and be reasonable here. I really didn't like the way she ways portrayed in Evolution as the preppy and bubbly I-use-like-as-every-other-word-in-my-sentences girl so I made a few intellectual changes.

_W-A-R-N-I-N-G:_ This will include some dark themes, language, mild violence and some sex related material. I'm only going to say this once so pay attention. If you're underage; I don't care. You're the one who'll be punished. Oh did I just say that? Heh, I didn't mean to scare you kids :P

Oh and do I even need to say I don't own the rights to X-men?

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_Prologue_

_Kitty's P.O.V. __(age 25) _

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Have I not said enough in my life? Or far too little. Seems no one listens to a thing I speak. Seems no one is around to hear. Right now I could pound my fist against my head. I have things I want to say. This urge to write, this urge... to explain. But it just says the same thing over and over again. Dissatisfaction. How much clearer can it be articulated? Till it reaches a pitch passing through ears to hearts and releasing this tension.

I hear noise.

I hear anger.

I hear frustration; stream out of me forever in a manner that just makes no fucking sense. Because my life makes no sense, and what I feel makes less. What I think is just confusion. What I say is just want to be. That while I crawl till my legs and knees are rubbed raw, I love the dirt ground into open wounds. I love the burn of your scorn.

I think of all the people in my past, of the ones who I have touched. The ones who are gone. Did they leave me, or have I left everyone. Was I ever here? Was I ever anything more than what I am now?

I'm sorry, really; the frustration just doesn't seem to want to go away.

Remmy warned me about loving you; said you were all about power, control, and domination. He was right. We were never lovers because you cannot love. Each time I tried to walk away you belittled me. You reminded me how weak I really was, how little I really knew.

_And I believed you._

Not because I wanted to, not because I thought you were correct, I believed the things you said because I didn't know what else to believe.

Little cruelties, small tortures: I delighted in them. You taught me well in our years together. I learned to be merciless and cold. Anticipated cruelty comes so easily now. The stinging words that pass from my lips no longer taste bitter. I rarely think about loss anymore.

I fight and train.I speak only when necessary. I have forgotten how to cry.

I loved you and you broke me. You made me what I am, Logan. You made me like you.

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**_Authors note:_** **Okay, before you all go to flame me for the pairing, or simply because you think that this is just _way _to OOC for your brain to handle; stop. Let me just point out a few things here that could have been overlooked; Logan and Kitty do not form a relationship while she's underage, this chapter is in the FUTURE, meaning there romance develops when she's OLDER. With that in mind, It would be most appreciated if i'm not given any shit about "the age difference" or how insane I am for writing this pairing. This is a fanfiction. I have a right to alter the characters personalities. And to tell you the truth I was inspired a lot by Shadowcat's character in the ACTUAL x-men comic book; where her and Logan do end up developing a strong friendship. With that said, constructive criticism is more than welcome but please remember to keep an open mind here and I'll try my best to do the same. Thank you. **

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	2. Recollection

_Disclaimer:_ Alright, so here's the introductory chapter just to start things off from the previous one. I know it's a little boring but I do promise to throw insomething interesting along the way. Remember, this chapter takes place **9 years** before the prologue, so its basically one long flashback. I plan on having the entire story line go this way up until it reaches back to where the prologue left off. From there I'll explain Kitty and Logan's current situation and if, or if not they decide to tie the notch and fix there relationship. Oh and one more thing, keep in mind Kitty's 16 here.

**Warnings:** Nothing too serious in this chapter; maybe some light swearing but that's it.

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Chapter One. 

_Recollection_

Kitty's P.O.V.

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So the last few days have come and gone without any really major events occurring. The other night, I went into this weird, introspective and pensive sort of mood where I reflected on the lack of stability in my life. I sat around pondering how quickly everything changes and how bonds can be broken so easily, and still others formed and altered in ways you'd have never imagined. 

"Lance..." I tremble as I pull away from my thoughts. Already two month after our breakup and I'm still hurting. Why, I don't know. He threw four months away; he threw _our_ four months away. Four months of me wasting my time in thinking we actually might have something together.

It's funny how much time you can spend day after day with someone and in return given a stab in the back. Its funny how after all the effort put into a relationship, one simple yes or no question can still, (and will) ruin everything. It's funny how a male teenagers mind is so easily controlled and corrupted by the desire for sex that he's ready to stake it all on the line for the hopes of one measly lay. It's funny becauseas when I replied with 'no, I don't feel ready yet' he was so intent on forgetting everything we've been though together and end it as quickly as it came.

Sometimes I just kind of wish things would work out differently. But then again, that just takes me back to my original thoughts that you never know exactly who's going to enter your life, or how they'll end up shaping it, or what sort of relationship you're going to carry on. There's no accounting for the strangers who become acquaintances, the acquaintances who become friends, the friends who become best-friends/lovers/soul-mates and so on.

You know, I've always had this deep down fear of being completely alone. Not alone for a few minutes, but a long-term alone for the rest of my life. I fear rolling out of bed each morning, going to school, coming back to the institute, eating dinner, throwing myself in front of the danger room to train and then going back to bed again. The truth is I do have a fear, perhaps an illogical one, of never finding someone who loves me in a non-platonic sense. I know that in many ways that's such a petty concern, especially at the ripe old age of sixteen. But in all honesty I don't know that I ever see anybody falling in love with me. I see myself falling in love with others, but somehow don't think that it will ever be returned with the same magnitude.

God, I bet I sound pathetic, right? On a lighter, more positive side of things; Logan came home the other day. First time in months actually. We went for a ride on his motorcycle to the park. I guess he noticed my mood and thought it best to go for a walk and clear my head.

I really missed having Logan around.

We listened to what each other had to say as we caroused the empty streets. Downtown looked as if it were part of a movie set. Unlived in.

Speaking of movies, we watched an old war-film after coming home; Logan 's choice. I must have fallen asleep halfway into it though, because next thing I know I'm gently tucked away in my bedroom with the sound of a familiar gruff voice mumbling a "g'night half-pint."

I think Logan's one of those people you shiver a little after they exit. The whole situation leaves me weak for a long time afterward, a bit shaken to the core, wondering what could have been said and their interpretation of the evening. Although Logans not one for emotion, he's really been helpful through and through. I'll always appreciate it more than he'll ever know.

Well, I should be getting to bed soon. I have to wake up early tomorrow; midterms are just around the corner. Thankfully Christmas vacation is too.

Things will start looking up again, they have to.

I don't know how present relationships will alter themselves, if present relationships will alter themselves. The conclusion I've drawn however is this: These moods may appear all-consuming, but they can be broken... and that is exactly what I plan to do.

I think I'll be ok. Yeah, **I'll be okay**. I like the sound of that.

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**Note:** So what do you think. Good? Bad? Should I even continue? R and R. 


	3. Good Morning, Goodbye

**_Disclaimer:_** We all know if I said I owned X-men no one would believe me. The characters that I write about here are not mine, and I try not to create characters either. But the plots are mine, so ha!

_**Responses to reviews: **_

**Gulogirl** – Okay, I just wanted to say one thing to you Mr/Mss/fucking moron: Intelligent responses are more then welcome, but before you start to attack me just because you don't **'**approve**'** the pairing, don't hesitate to take a second and pull the stick out of your ass. I can't give you more of a sane answer here. Learn to deal.

**Cheerleaderchick**- Thank you, its reviews like yours that really get me writing again. Appreciate it.

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**Chapter II: Good-morning, Goodbye**

Kitty's P.O.V.

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Monday morning came; never a favorite day of the week for me. Something about going back to school only to repeat from start to finish again doesn't exactly strike an interest. 

I rested a hand on my cheek; the window is open and the air is pounding on my face. As I slowly open my eyes, the world seems to have a blue tint to it. It's moments like these I crave to be surprised with a warm hug. Someone, anyone, hold me in there arms, kiss me lovingly on the forehead; to feel protected and safe... It would be so nice to be desired. Or just even needed.

The feeling in my head comes back as I adjust to the light and move from my bed with both feet promptly on the floor. I groggily realize what time it is when '5:00 am' shines brightly from my alarm clock. Why I was up this early, I had no idea; probably too much thinking the previous night for my brain to suitably rest.

Seeing as most the students and teachers were heavy sleepers; I could use this newly found alone time to my advantage. "Just keep optimistic kitty…" I side-note to myself, phasing downstairs and decide on making breakfast.

Setting the kettle on the now preheated oven, I reach for a tea bag, when suddenly I notice I wasn't unaccompanied. A dark figure sat silently in the corner. "Logan?" "Yeah, half pint?" the familiar growl came from in the shadows.

"What are you doing up so early?" I asked with forced lightness, attempting to distract myself from my own problems.

The silence hung in the air for a few moments before he spoke. "Thinkin'. About the past" he answered and paused a moment before continuing quietly, "About mistakes."

I know they weren't meant to, but man, those words of his cut me to the bone sometimes.

"How 'bout you, Kit?" he asked tenderly; a new characteristic of his it seemed.

"I... I couldn't sleep," I stammered. The shrill whistle of the water boiling momentarily saved me from having to elaborate. I hurried to turn off the kettle. Somehow I managed to ignore Logan while I mixed tea herbs into my mug with a couple spoonfuls of sugar. I sat back down at the table and stared at the steam rising from my cup.

The Wolverine gave an annoyed sigh and pulled up the chair next to mine. "What's on your mind Kitty?"

"Nothing" I replied in a small voice, trying desperately to make myself believe it; a shame Logan didn't.

"You'd still be sound asleep if it was nothin' kid."

I sat, glaring at my mug, trying in vain to ignore my own thoughts. "Really it's nothing, it's just..." I cringed, unable to believe my own lies for a moment longer. "How do two people who loved one another… seemingly at the time, so quickly learn to hate the others very name? ...Oh God, I screwed up Logan."

I had held back for so long, kept everything I didn't want to deal with locked up; but now it was getting out and against my willingness to do so.

"I miss him, I miss him so much. I... I don't know what to do." My body wracked with sobs when all of a sudden I feel Logan's strong arms around me. Human contact had never felt like such a blessing and at the same time such a curse.

Here I was, crying my eye's out on this mans shoulder; my teacher, my mentor, the one person I truly looked up to and respected above all others. I've never felt so wonderfully safe. Safe… yes, what a great feeling to experience again.

His grasp tightened a little as he made effort to sooth my tears, continuing to stroke my back with those rough hands of his. I felt the stubble of his unshaved chin scratch across my own as he briefly brushed his cheek up to my ear "Your one strong gal' half pint. Stop focusing on what you can't do and list a few of the good things you've done." I collected myself after those few words and speechless I let go from his firm hold; locking eye contact to the floor. "I'm sorry Mr. Logan… I… I..."

He grunted at my response and did his infamous smart-ass smirk which of course implied a smart-ass comment.

I was surprised when the predicted insult was substituted with Logan gently reaching a hand to wipe a final tear from my face; followed by pushing back some strands of hair covering my eyes.

"Don't you worry kid, you'll do fine. Believe it or not, I have faith in ya." He patted my shoulder, stood up from the chair and moved to the doorway.

"Kit…" He hesitated a moment but then turned to face me again; I could tell something was up. "I'll be takin' off for a while… don't know when I'll be back, just that I will." Placing his hands in his pockets he looked up at me for a last time and smiled. I immediately rushed over for a one final hug but unlike before, he was the one to push away instead.

I forced out a sad smile as a few more tears fell off my face. "You'll be back… for my 18th birthday right?"

"Hey now. Common' half-pint you know me better than that." He turned back to the door, ready to depart, when unexpectedly he threw his army tags to me. "For good luck" he mumbled quickly before leaving the kitchen, and very soon, the Xavier Institute. A minuet later I heard the sound of his motorcycle rev up and then disappear off to god knows where.

Damn, I missed him already.

One thing was for certain though; danger room training would not be the same.

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TBC

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_**Authors Note:** _I really liked writing this chapter. I feel that I have characterized Kitty friendship with Logan very well for once. I've always pictured him as quite protective and I think now she's beginning to understand how much she means to him. Expect more updates if you want m'. All you Kitty/Remy fans will be happy to hear the next 3 chapters will be focusing mainly on them. For now Logan's out of the picture, but only for a little while. I'm assuming the lemon will come into play roughly about the 12th chapter. Keep in mind that I'm 'assuming' here, but I promise it to be well worth the wait. At the same time, I don't want this to be a completely hentai focused story, as I would like it if there was some plot squeezed in too. 

If you have questions, leave them in a review. I'll do my best to answer them.


	4. Happy Birthday?

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Response to reviews: **

_Xfilesoc:_ Hey thanks, always nice to talk to another Kitty/Logan fan.

_Bladewing:_ Thanks a lot for the constructive criticism man, appreciate it. I'll try and work on keeping chapter length at an overall good pace.

_Deathrosekitty:_ Whoo, thanks for the fave. Keep up the reviewing and I'll keep up my writing :)

_And lastly in response to 'Gulogirl':_ Oh wow, very kind of you to say that the only reason you 'bothered to read' was to yet again haphazardly attack my story when you didn't even look at the actual chapter. Nice logic there.

And yes, I understand that everyone has there own opinion of who Logan should be paired with, and I too respect that. But you're missing one huge factor here. Not only did I visibly specify that when Kitty and Logan form a relationship, she was in-fact legally of age and in her mid twenty's; I also confirmed that the prologue was years and years into the future. People change; personalities can be manipulated and transformed. Why don't you read the actually summary again sometime; maybe then you can recognize that was what I had initially said my entire plotline would be focusing on.

And who are you to say he's not the dominating type, huh? I'm not even a third into my story and your already condemning Logan's character when I haven't even explained what may have happened to provoke the behavior.

I don't care if for a future reference you ignore this story permanently, I don't care if I ever hear from you again; but Christ, get over yourself. This story should make you think, but not to the point of breakdown in insulting me as a writer. I radically accept all types of criticism (seeing as that's exactly what I'm doing right now) and would appreciate it if you'd stop with trying to put words in my mouth, along with your attempted half-assed mockery.

_No disclaimer this time. If you don't know X-men belong to Marvel and not me, then I pity you._

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Chapter Three. 

_Happy Birthday?_

**Kitty's P.O.V.**

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It is surely wrong to be this alone on your birthday. 

Yes, so today I have finally reached the turning point from adolescence into adulthood. Here I am, now 18, and I can honestly say I don't feel any different. Kind of a disappointment I mean; to be told throughout your entire life that once arriving at this magical age, you'll be rewarded with the gift of self responsibility. But when in reality, all that really changes is your paying the rent and a few other unmentionables.

I don't know what's been wrong with me these last couple of days; It just seems like nothing is fitting into what I want it to fit into. I mean, it hasn't even been one full week since Logan left and I'm already starting to feel lost without him. I miss our occasionally insightful conversations, the overwhelming yet strategic danger room sessions; even the lectures and his excessive parent-like nagging whenever I'd go out Saturday nights.

Jeeze, what a tough week to get through school this has been. You know, senior years new freedoms of self-independence combined with the rigors of academia, it's a wonder I may even graduate now.

Forgive my negativity, but this sickening sadness of mine is like an overwhelming headache; and I need to do something about it.Thankfuly while leaving school and walking through the parking lot to my car this afternoon, I realized that the 62 degree air around me smelled like the ocean. From there I couldn't help but plan to head down to the pier where I remembered Logan taking me for my 'sweet sixteen'. With the surprisingly warm weather and sunny skies, the beach sounded like the perfect, relaxing way to kick off Christmas vacation. Not to mention my birthday.

As I backed out of school, I caught view of Rogue and offered her a lift.

"Appreciate it sugah' but I already got a ride" she said blushing; an emotion which was very unusual coming from her. I also noticed the infamous daydreaming and bubbly look she had about her. You know, the one with "I'm in love" written all over it. Only reason I knew was because I used to feel and act just the same when it came to Lance.

Immediately shaking the thought from my head, I turned my attention back to Rogue and grinned.

"Alright, so who's the lucky guy?" Call me crazy but I always was a little too nosy for my own good when it came to others romantic lives.

"Aw, it's nothing to get excited over, Kit..."

"Yeah right, the smile on your face says otherwise."

"Okay, okay, guilty; ya got me."

I couldn't help but beam, pleased that things were headed in a positive turn of events for her. Seeing as Rogue just got out of a brutal break-up too, I had to give her props for jumping the gun so quickly and giving dating another chance.

"So like, are you going to tell me who your new significant other is or do you plan on keeping it a state secret," I teased.

"You remember John, right?

"Mmm, I'm drawing a blank here. John who?"

"The John also referred to as Pyro..." she mumbled out sensitively.

"Wait, backup a second here. Don't tell me were talking about Brotherhood Pyro?" my jaw dropped, obviously caught off guard.

"The one and only" she smirked.

I closed my eyes and massaged my temples. Just the mention of the Brotherhood gave me a headache.

"Rogue, Rogue, Rogue," I sighed. "I thought we learned from previous relationships with the enemy?"

"Apparently not" She said winking.

"Look, you know I'm happy with whatever works for you."

"Thanks" she began. "Hey, John and me might hit up a movie later down by the drive-in near the dock, wanna join?"

"Sure," I said without thinking. "I was actually planning on heading down there later myself."

"Great, were going to go see that new indie film where Kevin Bacon plays the child-molester."

"Never did loose your morbid side, did you Rogue?" I joked waving her off as a red Mitsubishi with an attractive looking Australian behind the wheel pulled into the parking lot.

"Movie starts at 7 make sure your ass it there on time." She flipped me the finger, laughing as she entered the passenger seat and I stuck out my tongue. Pyro looked confused as he watched us humorously fighting but chose to not ask and instead give a quick peck on Rogues (gloved) hand.

'They look happy' I thought to myself as the two drove off; and I was happy to see they were.

Cranking some tunes I quickly made way onto the highway, and before I knew it, was already pulling into the piers parking lot. With time to kill I walked down to the beach, hoping to maybe catch the sunset before I met up with Rogue and John. Throwing off my shoes, I dipped my feet along the smooth surface of the ocean. Seeing as it was winter, I chose not to walk along the waters coast butstride through the smooth sand instead.

I smiled, for the first time in months feeling completely alive and actually happy to be. With my newly found relief, I started to twirl in circles, just like I was a little kid again; not with a care in the world. It was perfect.

But ironically, unexpectedly and very accidental, I managed to slam right into someone while my back was turned.

The two of us collided and tumbled roughly to the ground; one flying frontward and the other back. "Oh my gosh, like, I'm so sorry," I answered apologetically while helping what appeared to be the man I'd knocked down back up again.

It was then I got a good look at him: laid-back trench coat with cut fingertip gloves, typical bad-boy figure, sunburned chocolate hair, and bottomless crimson eyes I couldn't shake my gaze off from. He then said something about needing to pay more attention himself too.

"Remy thinks he needs to lay off walking and reading at the same time."

My jaw dropped for the second time today; it seemed like I was doing a lot of that lately.

"Chere, yo alright?"

"Hm? Oh yeah, just a little dizzy." I realized we were still holding hands from me helping him up, so I immediately let go and tried to hide my blushing. Too late though; judging by his smirk, he already noticed.

By now the sun was starting to set and the view was absolutely beautiful. I dropped down, cross-legged into the sand, and to my surprise was joined by the mysterious Brotherhood figure I had seen once or twice durring some privious battles.

"What do you want?" I said a little more harshly than intended.

"Enjoying the scenery," He replied. "It's not every day you have a beautiful femme walk right into you." I don't know why, but for some reason I wasn't getting irritated with his petty flirting.

As the two of us sat quietly in the sand, Remy grabbed a book out from his coat pocket and began to read. Seeing as I always have been intrigued with books, I couldn't help but look down to catch its title. "You read Orwell?" I questioned excitedly.

"Oui, that would be what Remy is doing right now." He said sarcastically.

I gave him a glare "You know what I mean."

"He's a favorite author of Remy's."

"No way!"

"Way," he mocked.

"Well excuse me, but you don't seem like the type that would appreciate reading."

"Nice stereotyping, chere."

I bit my lip, he was right."I'm sorry, really, that was impolite of me to say."

"S'okay," He said, standing up from the ground to stretch; offering me a lift. I accepted and was instantly pulled up by strong and rough hands.

Looking at my watch, I mumbled out a few cusses. "Shit, I'm late."

"Late to what?" He questioned considerately.

"Movies; a mini-birthday party for me you could call it."

"Remy's got it then."

"And what exactly have you got?"

"It's only common courtesy to give you a present, and on your birthday no less." He smirked. "Remy thinks he should accompany you, for what party is complete without me after all."

I rolled my eyes at his little ego speech, but for some reason grabbed his hand in mine and pulled us in the direction of the drive in theater. On the way we made small talk about books; all starting from Lewis Carroll to Shakespeare.

I had no idea a member of the brotherhood; _my_ _enemy_ no less,would be so enjoyable to speak with.

While the two of us arrived at the ticket booth, Rogue and John seemed to make perfect timing by showing up as well. "Ey' mate!" John said patting a hand on Gambits shoulder. He nodded his head in acknowledgement to his associate, and then at Rogue. She lightly smiled, but quickly turned her head away from her ex-lover. 'Nice going Kitty' I thought to myself sarcasticly, and reminded to mentally slap myself later for bringing my best friends old boyfriend with me.

After all the tickets were paid for, Rogue then mentioned something about picking up some food for everyone. Remy then signaled he would be back after a quick smoke, which left just me and Pyro.

"So just exactly what did I get myself into this time?" I questioned John as Rogue left to grab some nachos and candy. I remember before we arrived, her pulling me away for a quick private second together. The thought of her telling me she actually valued my judgment in men and wanted me to get to know John was obviously important to Rogue so I thought it wouldn't hurt to strike up some conversation with the guy.

"I heard it's about this convicted sexual abuser to little girls who attempts to rebuild his life after his release which was over a decade in prison," he responded pretty coldly.

"How lovely," I laughed lightly, trying to break the ice with a little attempted humor. But all I got was an awkward stare.

"Well when you think about it, most of us have sexual desires within the areas accepted by society, and so never reflect that we did not choose them. And I think it might have some interesting parts to it considering this movie focuses on the exact opposite. But that's just me."

"Point taken," I say, surprised with the astuteness in how he spoke; looked like there was a lot more to him than meets the eye after all. "You know, with an opinion like that you could easily have a shot at professional critiquing."

"Think so?" He sounded a little bit less irritated at me for intruding on his date now.

"Sure. Speaking of which; got any plans for college?"

He shook his head and frowned.

"You should defiantly make some then," I grin and continue. "Hey, I know it probably means jack shit, but you seem like a really bright guy to me. Intelligence is a hard thing to come by; you, like ,shouldn't waste it."

We met eye contact and I swear for the first time ever I saw him smile. It wasn't soon after that Rogue walked back up to us with 10 dollars worth of food; five dollars of it already in he mouth. Before she could say anything though, I slyly leaned into John's ear and whispered "Take good care of her." I finished with jokingly shaking my fist and he nodded sincerely. It was then I felt I could wholeheartedly believe that despite him being with the Brotherhood; John did have pure intentions.

Less then a split-second later, the red eyed Cajun quickly joined us again after his apparently much needed cigarette break, and the four of us returned back to the drive in. Rogue and John than began laying various blankets in the back of his truck while Gambit and I took the hint and instead chose to sit on top the hood of my car.

I was sitting just close enough to catch his smell- a mix of smoke and alluring cologne. Surprisingly enough I thought it was quite intoxicating. But because this was the closest thing to male contact I've had since my breakup, I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. Not in the fear sense of things; more of an overwhelming sensation. Passion maybe?

"So how is mon chere doin'?"

"Confused" I reply with a half-smile.

"What about petite?"

I wrinkled my nose hearing him call me one of his little nicknames again. Now I'd never fully admit to it, but they were actually starting to grow on me.

"I don't know, Remy…" I started off softly. "I want to be alone but not lonely. God, I think I'm reverting back to being a little girl. Crying too easily, when I thought I'd gotten thicker skin. Feeling completely helpless. I used to wonder what the meaning of life is... but from what I see now, it's just something that a lot of people take advantage of."

After realizing what exactly had been said, I apologized for rambling but was cut off abruptly with a kiss.

I felt like a deer trapped in the headlights.

"Remy-" I started, but his mouth blocked mine before I could say anymore. I leaned into his arms closing my eyes tightly. He groaned softly pulling me firmly against him. His tongue parted my lips, caressing them, causing me to press even tighter. I couldn't help but abandon myself to the sensations he was creating. He pulled away looking down at me as tried to catch me breath. "Wow," I gasped out.

He smirked.

"Wipe that look off your face Mr. Lebau" My eyes narrowed slightly, "You are so arro-" but he kissed effectively and cut me off a second time. Backing me harder against the car I leaned against it, returning his kiss with all my passion.

Now he was the one left breathless.

"Mon dieu, chere," he groaned pulling my hips closer to his and sliding his hand skillfuly up my skirt.

"No." I somehow managed to murmur out. He immediately paused and returned to gently bind his arms around me. "Remy is sorry, chere."

"No need to apologize," I smile. "Don't get my wrong, I'm not complaining or anything, I'd just like to... take it a little slower I guess."

"Remy would like to see you again petite."

"Course"

He instantly smirked at my reply, flashing that seductively gorgeous smile of his, and I felt myself melt. It wasn't worth hiding anymore; regretting it wouldn't help much either. The truth was out- I was falling for Gambit.

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TBC

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**Authors note:** 6 effing' pages! Yeah that's right, this is a long one. Hope all you Remmy/Kitty fans are satisfied. No Logan yet but the next chapter will be entirely in his perspective, ie: why he left and his feelings toward Kitty. On a little side-note, reviews make me write faster :P 


	5. Remembering isn’t always easy

**Authors note:** This chapter is dedicated to last chapters reviewers, who of which upon not doing so this story would be no more. Appreciate it guys ;)

To **xfilesoc** and **cheerleaderchick**, thank you both for all your support from the beginning :)

**Silvershadowcat**: Whee, thanks. Don't worry; I've got plenty more on its way.

_Again, I apologize for taking such a long time to pump out this chapter and the chapters to my other stories. The stress of my last year to high skool is finally starting to sink in, plus my head hasn't been screwed on tight enough lately. I will get to writing more soon though, I can promise you all that much._

**Disclaimer:** You should know what goes here by know. No warnings this time- just a little swearing; but nothing too offensive. Unless you severely hate Logan thinking about Kitty for some reason.

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**Remembering isn't always easy: Part I**

_Logan's POV_

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The ashes fell off my cigarette simultaneously as I sucked in that delicious taste of nicotine and tobacco. What a taste. It's funny; you'd think after all these years I'd have managed to quit my routinely unbreakable habit of smoking by now. Guess not- still guilty. 

I've been thinking again; not always a good thing but sometimes you can't help yourself now can you? Been thinking about a lot of things actually, all of which in some way or another keep reminding me of my damn teenage apprentice Shadowcat.

"Kitty..." I mumble in-between thought as I take another extended hit from my cigarette. "Wonder just how the half pint is doin' these days."

It had been quite some time since the two of us had shared an actual conversation (minus a few postcards here and there), but despite my stubbornness to admit so- I sure as hell missed that kid.

She had surprisingly turned out not too bad a fighter. In-fact, it was our routine sparring in the danger room that I missed the most. For her 16th birthday I remember the look of total determination she held on her face as she asked me to help her train, help her accomplish control. With an immediate no for reply I somehow found myself caught in a situation of argument, one where she would not give up and obliviously refused to do so. Nevertheless, it was that very same stubbornness which reminded me of myself, and the very same reason I decided to go through with her wishes. From there we trained, and trained unbelievably hard at that. But not once did she open her mouth in protest. Every day I worked her stiff, instructing, teaching, and enlightening her about all I knew. And it paid off; for both of us. Now with a stronger sense of self confidence in her fighting ability, the Shadowcat could now reach her true potential. What I gained on the other hand was at long last a worthy adversary and partner for danger room sessions.

I smirked while thinking of old times with Kitty. Sure did bring back a lot of memories. I did have to give the girl credit though. After all, not everyone makes it out alive while under the ruling of my teaching.

Resting a hand over another half empty bottle of liquor, I quickly downed what was left of the alcohol in one unwieldy knock back. Drinking seemed to be something I've been doing a lot of ever since my little 'road trip'. Because the dreams have been giving me nightmares again; chugging down a few extra beers made it all better, or at least to some extent.

This hadn't been the first time though- no sir. Past happenings have always haunted me in my sleep; keeping me awake- absolutely horror-struck of the images stuck on rewind, play, repeat. Xavier had at one point helped reduce the memories; even managed to stop them coming. Too bad it didn't take long before I was right back were I started though.

Guess it was true. I couldn't hide from my past anymore.

It was because of these nightmares that I felt it crucial to leave the institute in the first place. I felt weak, not in control, and feared for the worst if continuing to remain that way. I was so fucking concerned, worried if I would endanger Kitty, afraid to jeopardize all the good that was beginning to shape her life. She was all I cared about, she was all I admired. With something as innocent and pure as she was, I felt me staying would do nothing but contaminate that beautiful soul I envied so much from.

Yes, things are too hard.

I fuck up.

People get hurt and I runaway. I know I shouldn't but sometimes I don't know what else to do.

Reaching into my coat pocket I fumble around until I pull out another freshly wrapped cigar. Seconds later it's lit up and already fuming with that intoxicating scent it seductively carries oh so well. I always did reach for a smoke whenever I was nervous; not much has changed as you can clearly see.

"I'll visit her this week," I said; almost as if trying to hide my voice from hinting any signs of excitement. "Wednesday… Yeah Wednesday, the kid should be out of school by then..."

With some thoughts finally cleared and a plan settled, I snatched up my keys and headed in the direction of the nearest bar.

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**Remembering isn't always easy: Part II **

_Kitty's POV_

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It's truly amazing how accurate the illustrious saying "time flies when your having fun" is- I've never really believed it until now. The past six months have flown by completely and now look at me; I'm graduating high school today. One of the most important Wednesdays of my life. 

Finally! I'm out of the angst filled life of pre-adulthood and at long last ready to face the world along with the reality that so equally backes it up. What an eye opener. Not just for me, but for Remy too. I didn't know how strongly I felt about some things until they were actually brought up, how strongly I felt about a particular someone too. I still miss Logan but its like he always said; "if there was one thing I could change about myself, it would be how I accept change." I guess it's a part of me though. And, I know that no one is ever going to replace my friendship with the Wolverine; after all, he knows me better than I know myself. But that doesn't mean that I can't try for a relationship with Gambit, right? Oh who am I kidding, Logan has flat out disliked all and any of my love interests, and I doubt he's going to start otherwise anytime soon.

Anyway, I had so much fun this weekend. Sunday was our half year anniversary, and by 'our' I mean mine and Remmy's. I would have never imagined in a million years that a member of the brotherhood would be so romantic and gentle as he is with me. I remembered asking him something when we had first began dating. A stupid question like- Why are you so interested in me? - And then continuing another stupid remark like "I'm nothing special." He then looked at me for what seemed like hours, piercing my eyes with that ruby red Cajun stare. Wrapping me into a hug, he lifted my chin so that we were almost eye level (minus his height towering over mine).

"Remy is interested in ma jolie chaton(-My pretty kitty- A/N: Thanks for the translating help, Whylime) cus' you are special- special to me."

That sentence made my eyes water up a little, but Gambit affectionately moved his finger-cut gloved hands to wipe them away.

"What's on yer' mind petite?" He said with a little concern; still holding me tight.

There was nothing but silence for a few minuets; silence that needed to be broken. So I did. "I don't know, Remy… - everything just feels so right." What a moment; I'll never forget it.

The sensation that man gives me with just a few simple words makes my head spin sometimes- In the good way I mean.

I was rushed out of thought when I heard a few loud thuds against my door. The kind of pounding and defining sound that reminded me of Logan's knocking when he would wake me up at 5am for early training. I shook my head, 'stop getting your hopes up' I told myself firmly while I stood up from my seated position to greet whoever it was warm-heartedly.

"It's open!"

As the handle turned, a huge but rather musculer man made himself known from ouside the door.

"How ya doin' half pint" he said with outstreched arms and giving that authentic smirk of his.

Oh god, I've missed that smirk.

He didn't get a chance to say else though. By then I had already attacked him in one enormous hug; something which he didn't need to think twice before returning.

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TCB

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HA! Reunited at last! Flamers- I dare ya! Just try and stop me writing my Kitty/Logan :mechanical laugh: Eheh ehe ehm… well on a more sane and no so creepy note; Ill be starting back to writing Heart Half Empty and It's you That I Adore. Those will be posted hopefully sometime in the next week, so keep the reviews coming. :Sends excessive amounts of love to all my reviewers: 


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